I enjoyed this read. I think it a fabulous question - can we enjoy slow things as much as we enjoy fast things? Cause it takes me into the core of enjoyment - what is enjoyment? Has my enjoyment been molded over time around the speed of which things happen? Do I naturally enjoy fast things more and slow things less? A nice thing to become aware of. Thanks for that. I have an urge to watch Harry and Sally on my screen now lol. I also enjoyed your reflections on slow love. I do think it exists and I think it can exist outside of a quantity of how much you like somebody, and may be more rooted in how much you love yourself. For me, my fast love has always neglected me and my rhythms and been rooted in the desire to throw myself into that of another’s (rhythm). I think slow love may be less like that, and more conscious of my rhythm and the others rhythm and where we are and where we’re going and how we can thoughtfully and lovingly merge with each other over time, if that is something that we decide to do. The slow unraveling of another person is quite interesting, dare I say beautiful! haha. Thanks for the thoughts xo
I loveeeee this! So many great ideas are coming to mind based on what you said!! Maybe what I'm questioning here is not love, but pleasure. Have we (I) lost our (my) ability to truly enjoy something...savourrrrr something. How do I recalibrate my sense of enjoyment in this digital age? I don't have the answers, but I willing to search for them. I fully threw myself into Fromm's book, consumed over a span of days by his ideas, but then I think of other books I've read where it took me years to read (bc of the complexity of the ideas and writing). While I didn't enjoy the process, I loved the results (grasping a new kind of philosophy). So then how much more for a person? I'm not sure, but thank you for giving me so much to think about! Thanks for reading, Soi!
On the one hand, fast llove (maybe 15 months from first online dating message to marriage?) didn't work, except genetically (3 kids & their mom has them).
So I'm of a certain age and love has yet to fully unfold for me. Definitely, I believe love is a slow process. I've never been a fan of love at first sight or have I been supportive of the microwave, swipe left/swipe right approach to dating. I was raised by Boomers who taught me the art of courting. The catch, though, is that the society is far too corporate, digital, and detached to allow the slow moving process of courting. I'm a staunch advocate of things happening organically so that means falling in love is intentional and revealing at its own time.
That's one of my favorite quotes by bell hooks, by the way. Her trilogy of books on love are sacred as the Bible to me. It's been awhile since I've seen the film. I'll watch it again and lastly, I have that Erich Fromm book. Guess it's time to read it.
Hey Chandra, I think you're really on to something here–I wonder how and when we've lost the art of courting? Has the pursuit of convenience as a society inhibited our ability to pursue something without immediate results? All questions I'm going to keep meditating on. Thanks for raising these points.
Courting got swept up in the whirlwind of the sexual revolution. Once one night stands became normalized, it was over for courtship. It's last moments were in the 90s when I became a young adult. The touchest part of this, though, is how courting became distant as the sexual liberation aspect of feminism gained momentum too. Talk about tightrope walking with that one!
I enjoyed this read. I think it a fabulous question - can we enjoy slow things as much as we enjoy fast things? Cause it takes me into the core of enjoyment - what is enjoyment? Has my enjoyment been molded over time around the speed of which things happen? Do I naturally enjoy fast things more and slow things less? A nice thing to become aware of. Thanks for that. I have an urge to watch Harry and Sally on my screen now lol. I also enjoyed your reflections on slow love. I do think it exists and I think it can exist outside of a quantity of how much you like somebody, and may be more rooted in how much you love yourself. For me, my fast love has always neglected me and my rhythms and been rooted in the desire to throw myself into that of another’s (rhythm). I think slow love may be less like that, and more conscious of my rhythm and the others rhythm and where we are and where we’re going and how we can thoughtfully and lovingly merge with each other over time, if that is something that we decide to do. The slow unraveling of another person is quite interesting, dare I say beautiful! haha. Thanks for the thoughts xo
I loveeeee this! So many great ideas are coming to mind based on what you said!! Maybe what I'm questioning here is not love, but pleasure. Have we (I) lost our (my) ability to truly enjoy something...savourrrrr something. How do I recalibrate my sense of enjoyment in this digital age? I don't have the answers, but I willing to search for them. I fully threw myself into Fromm's book, consumed over a span of days by his ideas, but then I think of other books I've read where it took me years to read (bc of the complexity of the ideas and writing). While I didn't enjoy the process, I loved the results (grasping a new kind of philosophy). So then how much more for a person? I'm not sure, but thank you for giving me so much to think about! Thanks for reading, Soi!
On the one hand, fast llove (maybe 15 months from first online dating message to marriage?) didn't work, except genetically (3 kids & their mom has them).
On the other hand, I'm not getting any younger...
So I'm of a certain age and love has yet to fully unfold for me. Definitely, I believe love is a slow process. I've never been a fan of love at first sight or have I been supportive of the microwave, swipe left/swipe right approach to dating. I was raised by Boomers who taught me the art of courting. The catch, though, is that the society is far too corporate, digital, and detached to allow the slow moving process of courting. I'm a staunch advocate of things happening organically so that means falling in love is intentional and revealing at its own time.
That's one of my favorite quotes by bell hooks, by the way. Her trilogy of books on love are sacred as the Bible to me. It's been awhile since I've seen the film. I'll watch it again and lastly, I have that Erich Fromm book. Guess it's time to read it.
Hey Chandra, I think you're really on to something here–I wonder how and when we've lost the art of courting? Has the pursuit of convenience as a society inhibited our ability to pursue something without immediate results? All questions I'm going to keep meditating on. Thanks for raising these points.
Courting got swept up in the whirlwind of the sexual revolution. Once one night stands became normalized, it was over for courtship. It's last moments were in the 90s when I became a young adult. The touchest part of this, though, is how courting became distant as the sexual liberation aspect of feminism gained momentum too. Talk about tightrope walking with that one!
Autocorrect got me looking crazy out here -- I meant 'touchy'.